I have a confession. I am a little bit addicted to Amazon (confession #1). This came in the mail today:
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There are several more on the way. It’s not an addiction like, “Oh my goodness, I’ve got to go buy stuff right this second or I’m gonna die.” It’s more like, “Holy crap, I have all this stuff I’m not using and Amazon will give me CREDIT to spend if I give them the junk that I don’t use anymore!!!!” And they have TONS of quilting goodies.
My daughter’s birthday is coming up. And she’s obsessed with cats and dogs. Or anything with fur, really. She definitely doesn’t get it from me. Don’t get me wrong. Animals are fine. As long as they live somewhere else (confession #2). Or look like this:
Grump
So, I wanted to make her a kitty and puppy quilt for her birthday. I have an AccuQuilt Go! and was browsing the dies for it on Amazon. And these tempting little things keep popping up, that say, “Do you have this book? Trade it in for XXX amount of dollars.” So before I knew it had a huge stack of books piled up, and XXX amount of dollars to spend on Amazon.
I’m kind of a hermit (confession #3). I make a point of never leaving the house. Ever. I’m pretty sure if my husband had seen me interacting with other people and experienced my social awkwardness before we got married he wouldn’t have married me. Lucky for me, our favorite activities include not going anywhere together, and sitting at home being anti-social.
So being the huge hermit that I am, imagine the appeal of never having to leave the house when I need/want stuff. Whoever came up with Amazon Prime is a genius. GENIUS. Free 2-day shipping on stuff you never knew you needed? And only $3.99 for next-day? When it was Christmas, there was a package coming to our house every. single. day. I’m pretty sure the UPS guy wanted to murder us. It was to the point where he knew not to ring the doorbell because my daughter was napping. We only left the house to go Christmas shopping one time.
And then when we got our tax return, hubby and I each got a little chunk of it for ourselves before we did the boring stuff like paying bills. For like two weeks, the only way I saw my husband’s face was by the glow of the iPad while he was searching on Amazon for stuff to make his truck prettier (Don’t get me started. I have, on occasion, told my husband that I would be more attractive to him if I had a grill and big tires).
Now every time I go on Amazon to browse anything, it’s all like, “Trade so and so in and we’ll give you XXX dollars for it.” Somehow it knows what I have in my house. Whether I bought it through Amazon or not. It’s like Christmas here all over again. There is stuff coming every day this week. And I didn’t actually pay for any of it. It’s all been purchased with credit from trade-ins. It’s seriously addictive.
I got these two books recently (from trade-in credit, of course):
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If you’re into Civil War quilts/prints, I highly recommend them. I seriously want to make every. single. quilt. And in both books! That never happens. I’ve been thinking I need to have some challenge where I make all of them in a certain period of time. Like a Julie & Julia type deal. Except the authors of these books don’t snub me like Julia Child does Julie Powell. That would suck. Oh, and my husband doesn’t leave me over my blog.
Anyway…
While I’m on the subject of getting things in the mail, several years ago a college kid came to my door selling magazines. For some reason I felt guilty sending him away without buying anything (confession #4), even though I was a dirt-poor single mom and for some reason all of the subscriptions for crazy long periods of time. And really expensive. The cheapest one was Family Fun. So I ordered it. And I think I have a three-year subscription. I seriously spent $50 that I pretty much didn’t have.
Biggest. Mistake. Ever.
I never read it (confession #5). It comes in the mail. I look through it and think, “This is the stupidest magazine ever.” And then I toss it in the trash. Today one came, and this was in there:
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So, this is a craft project for Cinco de Mayo. Really? Last time I checked, I live in America. Cinco de Mayo is not an American holiday. And I’m pretty sure that there are enough holidays to celebrate already without adding Cinco de Mayo into the mix. Have you read this? You really should. I may or may not have had a grown-up temper tantrum (confession #6) when my oldest child wouldn’t stop bringing up St. Patrick’s Day and our need to make a leprechaun trap. Don’t I have enough on my plate just trying to make sure all of my kids are fed and bathed, happy and healthy?
As if that wasn’t bad enough, I got a letter home from school today for my kids about how next week is teacher appreciation week, and EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I am expected to bring something in for  both of my school-aged kids classes. Like, Wednesday they’re having a pizza party for the teachers and we’re expected to send two-liter bottles of soda?!!?! Seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!?! You expect me to reward you for sending my kids home two hours early so you can have a pizza party. And Mother’s Day is coming up, and I can guarantee you that you’re not planning an entire week full of activities to reward me for being their mother. I have respect for teachers and the crap they put of with. Really, I do. But this is just ridiculous.
So, yeah. No thank you. Generally when the teachers request things to be brought into school, I oblige. When the requests are reasonable. But when you tell me that on Monday, my kids have to bring their teacher a flower, and Tuesday I have to send in more classroom supplies (apparently the $75 per kid I spent at the beginning of the year wasn’t enough), and Wednesday I’m supposed to send soda…etc, etc??? Not. Happening.
Well, now that I’ve confessed what an embarrassment I am to humanity, I think I’ll go eat a giant bowl of ice cream work on the giant stack of quilts I have waiting to be quilted….

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